|Posted by Mark Lawrence on February 28, 2011 at 8:34 PM||comments (0)|
Are you having problems in yourmarriage? Are you looking for advice on what to do? Are youconsidering marriage counseling? Would you like help for your marriage?
At StrongMarriageNow we dedicateourselves to helping couples learn Marriage Success Skills to solve theproblems in their marriage and have the loving, passionate marriages they want.
Check out our library of marriagearticles on our blog
We’ve got lots of helpful tips:
Have you been impacted by infidelity or an affair?
Do you want to improve your communication?
What can you learn from celebrity relationships?
Are you alone in this? What are the statics of marriage problems?
The divorce rate is ——
How do you know when to divorce?
Tips to Solve Marriage Problems
A lot of Marriage Problems can besolved by focusing on spending postiive time together:
1Seek help early. The average couple waits six yearsbefore seeking help for marital problems (and keep in mind, half of allmarriages that end do so in the first seven years). This means the averagecouple lives with unhappiness for far too long.
2Edit yourself. Couples who avoid saying everycritical thought when discussing touchy topics are consistently the happiest.
3Soften your “start up.”Arguments first “start up” because a spouse sometimes escalates the conflictfrom the get-go by making a critical or contemptuous remark in aconfrontational tone. Bring up problems gently and without blame.
4Accept influence. A marriage succeeds to the extentthat the husband can accept influence from his wife. If a woman says, “Do youhave to work Thursday night? My mother is coming that weekend, and I need yourhelp getting ready,” and her husband replies, “My plans are set, and I’m notchanging them”. This guy is in a shaky marriage. A husband’s ability to beinfluenced by his wife (rather than vice-versa) is crucial because researchshows women are already well practiced at accepting influence from men, and atrue partnership only occurs when a husband can do so as well.
5Have high standards. Happy couples have high standardsfor each other even as newlyweds. The most successful couples are those who,even as newlyweds, refused to accept hurtful behavior from one another. Thelower the level of tolerance for bad behavior in the beginning of arelationship, the happier the couple is down the road.
6Learn to repair and exit the argument.Successful couples know how to exit an argument. Happy couples know how torepair the situation before an argument gets completely out of control.Successful repair attempts include: changing the topic to something completelyunrelated; using humor; stroking your partner with a caring remark (“Iunderstand that this is hard for you”); making it clear you’re on common ground(“This is our problem”); backing down (in marriage, as in the martial artAikido, you have to yield to win); and, in general, offering signs ofappreciation for your partner and his or her feelings along the way (“I reallyappreciate and want to thank you for.…”). If an argument gets too heated, takea 20-minute break, and agree to approach the topic again when you are bothcalm.
7Focus on the bright side. In ahappy marriage, while discussing problems, couples make at least five times asmany positive statements to and about each other and their relationship asnegative ones. For example, “We laugh a lot;” not, “We never have any fun”. Agood marriage must have a rich climate of positivity. Make deposits to youremotional bank account.